The Hungry Geographer

I know, I know I’ve been slacking….. Not keeping up with the Hungry Geographer…. Being a lazy bum…. Yeah all that’s true and you’re right! There are multiple posts planned for this up comming week and next, a little BBQ maybe?! A long weekend in the hill country of Texas and some great music are great ingredients for The Hungry Geographer! Stay tuned! And now Teh Tasty Nuggetz, by the Angry Wolf!

'Ole Ball Coach hitting them straight!

Jeebus effin’ Christmas trees I’m not in a good mood… exactly how long does it take for someone to cover their Gawd durn mouth when they cough??  AND I’M the one who ends up gettin’ sick & havin’ to burn a PTO day which is one less day I get to use to go back home for fun or the holidays.  ewhrgsoge[0 uiwtro yji0hrjierjiop hegr ji jo kegrhji hegrji egf!!!!! 2 years in a row that a freakin' co-worker has made me miss time at the end of the year from gettin' sick b/c they refuse to stay home & get better.  But hey, I'M the a$$hole for making a deal about it like always.  Sure, got it.  So I came down with the sickness... what's that you ask?  Did I get down with the sickness???  Oh, I got down with the sickness alright.... OOOWWWWWWWW WAH AH AH AH!!!

In the words of Jean-Paul Sartre, "Hell... is other people."

This Week's Games
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Ole Miss -3.5 at South Carolina- Ok, kidz, I think it's safe to say the luster is finally worn off the ol' ball coach.  Which just goes to show something that I was preaching today to Heir Windog- it ain't about scheme, it's about execution.  Ol' Ball Coach ain't so good at teh USCe is he?  Been there nigh on half a decade plus & they ain't won $hit.  At least in terms of Division or Conference titles.  Which, like I was also saying today, ol' Pope Urb's super "futuristic" spread o, which is nothing more than the veer run out of the shotgun, probably wouldn't look so good if he was running it at Bard or Pace or Maine-Presque Isle or Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts football programs.  Either way, if da Ol' Ball Coach don't beat Ole Miss this weekend, look for those damn Plantation owners to start crowing like a rooster who just got b*lls polished by the hottest hen in the coop.            Ole Miss 34, South Carolina 22
Just to give the readers a heads up....Teh Nuggetz are composed on Wednesdays! The Angry Wolf is probably kicking himself about this game cuz we'z was talkin, about the Ole Ball Coach and how the 'Rebs are super overrated! Spurrier's boys came through and the cry-babies from Oxford can now "shut the hell up!"

Michigan St. +3 vs. Wisconsin- Complete shot in the dark pik but I'm mainly picking this one b/c Mr. Brant Patongo was one half of last week's quiz winner- Sammich man Brent was the 1st real winner but I was so impressed with Jack the Ripper's over-info'd, me-like "10 = cosmic balance" answer that he will be awarded with a joke reference later too; "We shall call you Cygnus! The god of balance you shall be! [if anybody can tell me which band, song & album that's from I'll award you a free pat on the back to be administered by themselves]).  So after being defeated by Jabba the Hutt’s slingin’ emu last week, Brant Patongo, man of the wilderness, set off on a long trek on some glacier that apparently still exists despite the average global temperature being like 103.6 degrees these days.  He happened upon a fox who was still wearing Timothy Treadwell’s, aka Grizzly Man’s, lucky hat that was crucial for the success of all wilderness missions.  Brant said, “hey, gimme that hat,” the fox just replied, “grrrraak!”  Brant then held out the most beautiful reuben sammich anyone man or fauna had ever laid eyes on… The fox then said, “Maaaaaaaaan!  Dassa purty reuben sammich! Ok, ok, ok, here’s your stinkin hat, smells like human anyway.  Oh & take the Spartans over the Badgers in an “upset.”  But just as the fox went to grab the sammich Brent pulled it back & yelled “DOUGGE!”  But alas he still ended up in Anchorage hospital laid up for 2 weeks with glacial flu.  Flu, flu, flu, everywhere a flu flu!   And thus concludes one of the worst off the top of my head made up anecdotes EVAR……    Michigan St. 24, Wisconsin 23

LSU -12 at Mississippi St.- Mais gad damm! Gad damm!  Da Tigahs ain’t win no 456-0 lass week & many of the “real” fans back home is sum kinda p1ssed.  We’re talking the fans that are so hardcore that for the 1st home game 2 weeks ago, half of them jetted at half time b/c it was raining.  Ohhhhh, b/c it ain’t ever rained in Louisiana, sure.  Mmmm hmmm.  But hey, they’re real d*mn fans!  They keep it so real they get mad at a 31-3 victory!! Perfection or nothing else, brah!  2nd place is da furst lozah, brah!  So sayeth the schvmucks who never played a down passed middle school ball.  Oh no wait, my bad, Jarred Duplechain parlayed that stellar career at Oberlin as the backup snapper into a career as the asst. cell block door operator at the Oberlin Jail.  He even has 15,000+ posts on The Rant!!!  He’s a fvckin’ souljah!                 LSU 28, Mississippi St. 14

Miami (Fl). -2.5 at Virginia Tech- Maaaaan, Jacory Harris japlayed ja’extremely well ja’again last jaweek against Ja’Georgia Tech. Now he jagoes into jaBlacksburg to face ja’overrated Tyrod Taylor who I’m sorry to say if was white would never see the field. Oooh, so racist.  No, just a statement of fact.  He’s fast & that’s it.  Kid has no pocket presence whatsoever, has the accuracy of a scud missile & makes decisions like a spazzoid on acid. But hey Virginia Tech never really has an offense anyway, oh hey look at that they just scored 8 pts. from all the VaTech shooting solidarity bumper stickers…. Da U 31, Virginia Tech 21

Kentucky +21.5 vs. Florida- I didn’t understand last week’s Gatuh performance against the Vols at all.  I mean if it’s as simple as Tim Tebow making a fiery speech, he did invent intensity after all, why didn’t he give a fiery speech at halftime last week?  Oh gee, guess we won’t see THAT plaque adorning a bldg. on UF’s campus anytime soon.  “Are u guys with me?? Let’s go win by 10 when we owe Kiffykins a STATEMENT. 30 minutes for the rest of our lives! (what if the game goes into OT?!) Ummm, 30 possibly more minutes for the rest of our lives! Oh & don’t mind the big phat fumble in the big game just like my 2 oskies in the title game,” winning has a way of glossing over the pimples…     Florida 28, Kentucky 21

Arizona St. +11.5 vs. Georgia- I know I’m probably stepping into a trap with this one but UGa ain’t played a lick of defense this year & West Coast teams usually do much better traveling to East Coast teams than vice-versa.  Plus, that potted ham Sun Devil got that pitch fork that he can always poke Uga in da nvtz with.  Plus there’s soemthing just funky with Joe Cox… hahahahahahahahahaha get it?  Man, dogg, Joe Cox is funky lookin’.  Yo’ lady plays wit dat?  Man Joe Cox is da weird & sheet…..  Um, that’s all I got….         Georgia 38, Arizona St. 28

Purdue +7 vs. Notre Dame- Ok, look Google’s e-mail formatting crap is driving me crazy, so we’re going abridged now- Charlie svcks, Emu Clausen svcks, I have no idea what’s in a Boilermaker drink.  The end.     Purdue 30, Notre Dame 27

Iowa +9.5 vs. Penn St.- Iowa sucks.  Penn St. is in the pole position to win the Big 10 but they svck too.  JoePa is like 143 yrs. old.  The end.    Penn St. 21, Iowa 19

Washington +7.5 at Stanford- Really? Stanford is favored??  But brah Udub svcks, dood.  We shooda beat ‘em like 104-zip, dood.  Brah.  Dood.  Hey d1psh1t, it’s the start of the 4th qtr. why don’t you leave the stadium & go get’cho drink on & let the grown ups talk football….. yes, I left in the 4th qtr. back in my days in college but we had Curley the Bus Driver Hallman as coach & we svcked & were usually losing by then….   Oh & grow up & quit callin it Udub, candy azz. Otherwise Jack the Ripper will personally crawl through your cable intrawebs connection & pummel you into a bloody pulp & then bed your girlfriend…. and eat all your sammiches.      Washington 27, Stanford 21

Washington St. +45 vs. USC- +45, really?  I mean c’mon. With USC coming off of a loss?  Sorry, I ain’t buyin’ it, Washington St. could line up a team full of cripples, handi-capables, super-challenged, whatever the hell they’re called these days & I’d still take the 45 all 9 days of the week.  Yes, yes, yes, even if Asst. Jeebus’ Co-Pilot is playin’ this week.  Hey who would win in a Faith off- Tim Tebow or Matt Barkley?  Trick question, Jesus always wins!  Booyah!       USC 34, Washington St. 9

PS- Hey you fiends get your polls ready for next week…. no that was NOT a double entendre.

-THG